Written by: Jamie Jo Friederick
Traveling back from California to Connecticut for the Alumni Retreat felt like stepping into a living memory. I arrived early. The rooms were empty, still holding the echoes of what had been. I wandered into the sunroom and paused at the long table where my class once gathered for meals, laughter, and side-bar discourse. Upstairs, I found myself back near the bathroom where, years ago, I had first been initiated into a different kind of morning ritual. I remember hearing moaning through the door and thinking—confused and slightly alarmed—that people were having sex. What I discovered instead was something entirely different: people submerged in ice baths, breathing, sounding, and pushing themselves into presence in that pink-tiled bathroom.
What began as curiosity became devotion. Somewhere along the way, I was crowned the “Ice Queen,” carrying forward a lineage passed to me by Selena and Ambrose. This year, I was met with a surprise: an outdoor ice tub, a beautiful continuation of the practice. I felt a deep sense of joy seeing how Becca had tended and expanded this legacy.
At night, Winston the dog barked nearby, and I found myself wondering if he missed Jim. There was a quiet sadness too—for the ones not present this time. Something felt different without them. And still, there was an ease in how quickly I slipped back into the rhythm of it all, as if no time had passed.
Peer-led processing reminded me just how powerful this work is when it’s blended with all of our co-creator gifts and experiences. I slipped back in as if no time had passed—held, supported, and deeply met. The familiar sounds pouring out of open windows—screams, cries, raw expression—felt the opposite of alarming, but comforting, as they are the sounds of people moving energy, speaking truth, and getting well.
A powerful family constellation facilitated by Nico opened layers of channeling, the unnamed, and insight. Beth and Christina offered Core & Kink: Erotic Imagination as a Pathway to Higher Self—an experience that felt elevated, edgy, and alive. It was risky in the best way: expanding our edges of comfort.
A much-needed offering, for me personally, came from Ken and Karin on Full Self Expression. They introduced an adapted repair model, originally designed for couples but applicable far beyond. It was practical, accessible, and deeply impactful. I found myself taking it into practice immediately, and it has already proven powerful and valuable.
The Core II group created a sanctuary service on rest and designed a sacred rest space and inviting us into a shared napping experience alongside an exploration of our resistance to rest. It was simple, profound, and deeply needed.
What also stood out for me returning for the first time since I graduated, was a more subtle but deeply felt shift: being outside the student hierarchy and now among peers, leaders, and teachers.
There is something both deeply affirming and resonant about that integration—the softening of “above” and “below,” and simply being in the work together.
Throughout the weekend, I found myself reflecting on the challenge of capturing this work—especially visually. How do you photograph transformation? How do you explain a process that lives in the body, in vulnerability, in the unseen? We spoke about leadership through vulnerability—the courage it takes to be seen in process, in tears, in rage, in truth. No one is eager to show their “ugly cry” face. And yet, our alumni community leaned in. People took risks and allowed themselves to be witnessed, even documented, in real and raw moments of their work.
I saw my everyone in a new light—each of us in different roles, stepping into leadership in our own ways. When people spoke about “the Institute,” it no longer felt like something separate.
There is no “they.”
There is only us.
No one is coming to rescue us.
We are the stewards of this work now.
I didn’t realize how much I had been missing this community…the depth of connection, the permission to fully express, the shared language of the strange and beautiful things we do in Core. All of this held within the beauty of Wisdom House, where spring was just beginning to bloom, wildflowers dotted the grounds, trees opened gently, sunlight beamed through the morning dew.
This weekend rekindled a spark. I’m deeply grateful for the experience. Big thanks to everyone in my group. I’d like to come back next year.
